This is Just to Say…

…that both grant applications are off my desk and in the in-box of the National Institutes of Health.  Hurray!

I am elated that the grants are finished.  Now we wait, or rather, I work my tail off while waiting to find out whether there will be any funding to sustain my project.  I’m sort of struggling to get used to not having a writing project at work—I feel a little forlorn, to be honest.  So many scientists hate writing, but I love it, and I need to start doing more with my love for writing, taking more chances.  Now that the grants are done, I am trying to find some new momentum to submit a piece to The Chronicle of Higher Education about my quirky reasons for pursuing a PhD, postdoctoral training, and funding: because I want to teach.  How many scientists can say that?  Not many, in my experience.

So it’s a transition period for me, as I shift gears back into research, but with a new writing goal in mind.  I also want to write more about my thoughts on grant-writing, patience, and love—yes, love—because…because I think there’s more to say on those topics.  It takes strength to remain committed when things are not easy, when you’re getting mixed signals, when you’re worried that the boat is sinking.  At the end of the day, I want to be able to say, “I did everything I could to make it work.”  Even if I have to jump out of the boat in my life vest and swim, I want to be able to say I did my best.

There is no such thing as certainty.  If you think there is, then maybe you aren’t taking enough chances.  Maybe you need to dream bigger, risk more, do something that might fail.

I dare you.