Sunday, September 15, 2013


A while back, Kate hinted that she’s got some ssb (secret single behavior) that might be carefully stowed away, now that she and her fiancé are living together.  Kate and I have many things in common; most relevant for this discussion is that we have lived alone for a long time, about ten years for each of us!  That’s a long time to develop the perfect repertoire of ssb.  I’m somewhere between living alone and living with another person.  Paul and I are talking about living together in the vague future, and he is, ever so slowly, leaving things behind in my apartment.  I currently have in my possession one sewing machine, one toothbrush, and several chargers for various gadgets.  He thinks he’s being stealthy about this, but I’m totally onto his plan: move in so slowly and gradually that I won’t even notice it.

And you know, there is something to be said for a gradual transition.  There are little things he does that make me feel like he lives here, and I just melt with happiness.  The other night, we were making dinner, and he stepped outside to pick some fresh rosemary for the oven fries.  He didn’t say anything, he just did it, and I loved that.  Mi casa es su casa.  My herb garden is your herb garden.  There’s no need to ask.

That being said, I’ve got my own ssb—things I tend not to do when he’s around.  Maybe this will change with time, but for now, there’s still a curtain between my home-alone behavior and my home-together behavior.  For example, when I’m home alone:

* I usually don’t close bathroom doors, because why?  Ain’t nobody here but the cat, and she gets upset about closed doors.

* I like to dance badly.  Paul would probably enjoy seeing this, because it would make him laugh, but I’m shy about it.

* On weekends, I like to wear my pajamas until the afternoon.  It’s about 2:30 PM on a Saturday as I’m typing this, and I’m wearing a big t-shirt and my glasses.  So sexy!

* I like to be alone.  This is the thing that worries me most about living with a partner: that I’ll never have the house to myself again.  Paul and I have talked about it a little bit, and to be honest, this is something that we both worry about.  Still, I have hope that we’ll work it out.  I am sure we are not the first pair of introverts to contemplate the challenges of living together.

* I listen to podcasts or music nearly nonstop.  I don’t do this when Paul is around.

* I eat many of my meals in front of the computer.  But I also enjoy eating a meal with Paul or friends, away from the computer.

* I like to spend weekend mornings reading and puttering on the computer.  It’s one of my favorite ways to relax.

And then there’s my ssb outside of the house:

* When I’m stressed and in need of relaxation, I like to browse at stores.  My favorites are Pier One, Target, or Old Navy.

* This isn’t really shameful, but eating out alone is another way I relax.  I spend so much of my time cooking and cleaning up after meals that letting someone else do that work feels like a wonderful, yet relatively cheap, indulgence.  A tip from Paul: if you happen to live in a town with a Freebirds (hello, fellow College Station dwellers!), order the vegetarian nachos and you will get a boatload of food for about five bucks.  Seriously, I did this the other night, and it was like getting rice ‘n’ beans, a salad, and fresh chips all in one very inexpensive meal.  Usually I get a burrito at Freebird’s, but I may be a convert to the nachos.  It was life-changing!

So what about you?  Do you have any secret single behavior you want to share?

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