Friday, March 28, 2014

(Somewhat Neglected) Goals for This Month

Oh, you guys.  I have been feeling so out of sorts this month.  My cold has tightened a death grip around me, dragging me down into sickly misery for the past week.  I’ve been freaking out about everything—work, money, love, family, my closet.  And my thoughts have been very dark in a scary way.  I’ve been feeling hopeless and depressed, definitely not my usual happy self.  In short, it’s been a hard, hard month for reasons that I barely understand.

I haven’t been writing enough, whether it’s journaling or blogging.  I find myself feeling paralyzed about what to say and worried that it’s too stupid/dark/banal/boring to bother writing.  But I also know that writing is a way to the other side of whatever it is I’m feeling this month, so I decided to finish writing this post I had started earlier this month.  I’m trying to re-establish some momentum on my life goals.  (Speaking of which, maybe I should write that neglected 2014 goals post?  Yes?)  Truthfully, all of these goals are good ones for April too, so here we go.  Let’s finish this post, and I’ll add some end-of-the-month commentary.

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Here is my not-so-big realization this month: I need to work on my self-discipline muscles.

From what I’ve read, self-discipline really is like a muscle (metaphorically, at least) in that the more you work on it, the stronger it gets.  Now that I’m partially self-employed, I need to be more driven to reach the goals I set for myself.  One of my strengths is that I am good at adjusting my plans on the fly, during the normal course of a day.  It’s good because it means that I handle setbacks and interruptions well.  But it’s bad because it’s easy for me to “adjust” my goal by putting it off until tomorrow.  Tomorrow’s goals never get accomplished.  I need to be working on today’s goals.

For this month, I set three straightforward goals.

Clean Out the Spare Bedroom_March 11{Calendar image source.  Edited by me!}

* Cleaning out the spare bedroom this month.  First, some news: Paul and I are moving in together this summer!  We’ve decided to consolidate our lives into my two-bedroom apartment before we move to Austin later this summer.  Funny story: we’ve known for many months now that we are happy living together, as we lived together for two weeks while traveling out west last summer.  But we were both happy in our respective living situations, so we decided not to change things.  (Plus we’d only been dating for about five months, which seems a little bit fast for packing boxes, at least for my taste).

Fast forward to this summer, and living together feels like the right fit.  The only problem?  One of the bedrooms is my office, and by “office” I mean it is filled with crap.  So the challenge before Paul can move in is to clear space for him to have a bedroom of his own (yes, separate bedrooms—we each like alone time).

Earlier this month, I had been working on it, at least a little bit every day.  Then we went to Dallas and things got really busy, then I went to Detroit and I got sick.  Now I’m going to resume this project for the rest of the month and for April.  I think the goal will be for Paul to be able to move in by the end of April, if he wants.

Study More

* Four hours of chemistry study this each week.  I mentioned in my last post that I have ideas for finding more tutoring business.  My best idea so far: chemistry tutoring.  I was a chemistry major in college, so the subject is a firm part of my background.  Plus I love and enjoy chemistry, so tutoring in that subject sounds fantastic.  In order to brush up on my working knowledge, I bought a textbook and am actively studying in the hope of attracting chemistry students.  This week, I had my first chemistry tutoring session (found via Craigslist), and it went well.  Win!

I have another new student scheduled for Sunday, so onward we go.

Ready for Walking

* Walk at least 15 minutes each day (in addition to “commute walking” to get to work).  One of the hazards of my work life now is way, WAY too much time spent in a chair.  On top of that, I have not been great about getting exercise since the half-marathon at the beginning of the month.  I decided to challenge myself to get at least 15 minutes of walking every day on top of any other activity (bike riding, climbing stairs at work, etc.).  I love meeting this goal.

END-OF-MONTH EDIT: I was doing great on this goal until I went to Michigan, and then I just fell flat.  It was cold, I was tired/busy/distracted and just didn’t fit my walking time into the day.  But!  No time like the present to jump back into things, so tomorrow morning I’ll be strolling around my neighborhood.  Is it weird that I’m thinking of doing the Couch-to-5K program to get back into a fitness habit?

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Whew!  It feels good to finish this post.  Hopefully that didn’t read too awkwardly, as I awkwardly try to find my way back to a routine that makes me happy.


Chrissy (The New Me) said...

Friend, I am so sorry to hear you've been having a hard time lately. I'm also concerned about your feelings of hopelessness especially, and I hope that you're keeping your loved ones near to you, that they're aware of this funk and are helping you through it. It's normal, I think, to go through highs and lows - even for people like u, who are mostly happy most of the time. When we do go through rough patches, it's almost shock - like, really? Me too? UGH.

That said, I love these goals and I hope focusing on them helps pull you through to the other side. Making room in your life literally for someone you love is a good, good thing (I am curious to hear more about the separate bedrooms, though!). And expanding your business slowly but surely is excellent. And who doesn't need more walking in their life? Good luck with these, and I hope April is a better month.

Lots of love to you! You're in my thoughts. <3

Chrissy (The New Me) said...

*that was supposed to say "people like US" not "u." What an unfortunate typo!

Rosiecat said...

Oh, my sweet friend! You are so wise. "It's normal, I think, to go through highs and lows - even for people like u, who are mostly happy most of the time. When we do go through rough patches, it's almost shock - like, really? Me too? UGH."

Yes, that is EXACTLY it. It's not just the dark feelings but the utter shock of feeling so low. I think you just elucidated something precious to me :-) And thank you for indulging me in this post--they're not the most *amazing* goals, but they are practical and real and carrying me forward. It felt really good to finish a post and just let it be, you know?

Also, I kinda loved your typo--people like me, people like us. We're kindred spirits.

Happy Sunday, my dear! xoxo