Childhood was hard for me, and now I know why: it’s because I’m an old person at heart. I always have been. I’m not sure many adjectives that describe young people have ever described me: I’m more cozy than sexy, more quiet than exciting, more homebodied than adventurous, more hot chocolate than shots of tequila. It’s just not in my nature to command people’s attention with my smashing good looks, my wild behavior, or my shocking decisions.
Instead, I’m like a grandma trapped in a young person’s body. I found this terrific post at Yes and Yes and decided to steal it for myself. The comments made me laugh and laugh; you should check it out! Here are some of the ways I’m ready to be a grandma:
* I love going to bed early. If I can be in bed by 10 PM—heavenly! And on nights that I stay up way past my bedtime, I feel sad that I missed my chance to go to bed early.
* I would rather be in my kitchen, baking cookies, than out drinking.
* I am more excited about having a comfortable, beautiful home than I am about traveling the world.
* I’m already hard of hearing. What did you say? Speak up!
* I’m also extremely nearsighted. Where are you? Come closer, I can’t see you.
* I like old-fashioned means of communication. I send people cards on their birthdays and prefer phone calls to texting. I see e-mail as a form of letter-writing and enjoy including greetings and closings.
* I think in most situations, people should try really hard to be kind. I’m sort of offended by people who think that kindness is overrated.
* I’m always eating high-fiber breakfasts.
* I was a bit scandalized by some dude who was wearing a t-shirt that said, “I love boobies.” Yeah, I bet you do. The feminist in me wanted to fight back by wearing a t-shirt that objectified male anatomy, but then I thought, Nah. That is not a fight you win by fighting fire with fire.
And then there are all of my grandma-like sartorial choices:
* I’ve started wearing an apron! We can thank my mom for this one. Here I am, last night, in my “women in science rule!” apron.
Also, check out the wild-eyed paleontologist. This is kinda what I look like every day at work, except I’m not holding a bone.
* I prefer flats to heels.
* I like soft materials, all the better in which to hug and be hugged!
* I prefer cardigans to blazers, though I must say that my green “blazer” made of sweatshirt material is really, really great. So soft!
* As the undergrads wear shorter and shorter things, my skirts keep getting longer. Soon I might feel scandalized if you can see my knees! (Actually, it’s not really about modesty so much as I’m enjoying the look and feel of longer skirts and dresses.)
That seems like a pretty good list to me. How about you? Do you feel younger or older than your real age?