Hello, howdy, hey!
Moving weekend is upon us here in Casa de Paul y Rose-Anne. I write this from a living room that’s been taken over by stacks of boxes that Paul refers to as his Tetris game.
Ugh, moving is so hard and bittersweet! I feel like we’ve been moving for weeks and weeks, between all the decisions we’ve made, the logistics we’ve wrangled, and the fact that Paul started packing weeks ago. Our poor kitty is hiding in my bedroom, trying to ignore the chaos in her usually peaceful home.
Packing up books today, I unearthed a library book that I deeply enjoyed but never finished: The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner, who was a historian. It’s a brilliant book, one that attempts to answer a fascinating question: when, how, and why did women start accepting the role of second-class citizen in Western cultures? It’s tough to deliver a definitive explanation, but I think it’s a noble effort. Anyway, what that book reminded me is how much of my time in College Station was really spent exploring and trying to figure out who I am. I know that may sound cliché, and shouldn’t someone in their late 20s know who they are? But truth is paradoxical: I was lost, and I knew what I wanted. Sort of. I’m a wanderer, a truth-seeker, a teacher. I’m so grateful I was able to explore so deeply during my almost-five years here. The journey was painful at times, but I know now that I am leaving College Station more myself than I ever have been.
There has been a lot of sadness here—a LOT of sadness. But there’s been a lot of happiness too, even moments of joy. In this particular moment, with Paul sautéing onions and tofu in the kitchen, the smell of curry powder hanging in the air, I feel very content. Despite the boxes, even despite myself. I hate moving, and I don’t really like change. But I love what both can bring into my life—new places, new people, and a new chance at happiness. We’ll get through this weekend, and next week, when I work my final days inside a lab. For now, I’m just riding the wave that is carrying me toward Austin and into my future.